Tagline: A place worse than death.
Director: Eoin Macken
Cast: Tereza Srbova, Emmett J. Scanlan, Sean Stewart, Natalia Kostrzewa, Brian Fortune and Eoin Macken
Distributor: Monster Pictures
Release date: 25th March 2013
The Inside should win some sort of prize. But don’t get excited, the prize would be for making the worst found footage movie in history. I was always taught that if I didn’t have anything nice to say then not to say anything at all. But since this is a review and I have to tell you (more like warn you) about this film then I must proceed.
It took a mere four minutes for the film to commit the first crime against cinema. The found footage movies that work usually work for a reason, because they follow some very simple rules. The most important thing to remember is that there needs to be a good reason for filming in the first place.
This film centres on an annoying group of girls who are filming a video of their night out for a friend’s birthday party. Instantly one of the girls says they will film all night or until the tape runs out. Clearly they are dumb enough that they don’t realise they are either shooting on digital so there wouldn’t be a tape or if they are indeed shooting on tape then they will only have about 60 minutes of footage available to them so instead of shooting a bunch of crap they should save ‘tape’ for something interesting. The film was instantly annoying when I realised that we were being shown the footage by someone who wanted to hock a ring in a pawn shop and was offered 50 euro. When he exclaims its worth four times that and demands 100 euro, the pawn shop owner quickly offers him 75 euro and a video camera?! I think the camera was probably worth a little more than 25 euro!!! So the guy takes the camera and watches back the footage that has been shot and surprise, surprise – we have yet another found footage movie.
After about eight minutes I was ready to turn the film off. After 20 minutes of pure shit, something interesting actually happened, although I don’t know if I can call a group of guys grabbing the girls and tormenting them interesting. After half an hour there’s an attempted shocking of the audience, mainly by using the ‘C’ word and inducing headaches by some of the worst camera operation ever – including the need to shoot nearly the next hour in one seemingly uninterrupted take, which in some other dramatic narrative may be extremely impressive, but here is just criminally annoying, mind numbing and shows a severe lack of narrative and editing skills.
I honestly can’t even express my distaste for this film in my words to you.
After being raped, assaulted and shouted at for a long time while being filmed all of a sudden we are bombarded with very amateurish demonic and supernatural images before the girls resurface with their camera (still filming I might add – seriously, like you fucking grab a camera and start filming after being raped?) and all of a sudden are attacked by a supernatural force. And I don’t mind spoiling that wonderful surprise because it’s not very good anyway and it saves you sitting through the film yourselves. If I hadn’t watched the last half hour while occupying my brain with other things I think I would have taken the DVD out, snapped it in two and then stabbed both of my eyes out.
And while I am on a rant, since when did found footage movies need a score and sound effects? Surely we are supposed to watching something ‘real’ as it happened. Where did the music come from all of a sudden?
Extras – video commentary and making of. Surprisingly enough I didn’t watch either and I don’t expect you will watch them, that’s if you even get through the film itself which I strongly suggest you don’t even bother with. If the film wasn’t so painfully dull and technically inefficient it might have been able to take a reasonable idea and turn it into an interesting ten minute short film, but this is not worthy feature film material.
Rating: 0 stars
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