Puppy’s Hi Def Escapades

New Year Blu’s have kicked in (Get it? Blu? Blu’s? Blu-ray? – don’t worry, it took Chris a while). I escaped the shed for a weekend and ended up in Camber Sands for the SFX Weekender. It was a traumatic affair…

The bad news is that Phil tried really hard to get me a Blu-ray screener of Triangle which would have made my geeky year. However Phil didn’t (censored – Ed) and the carrot he dangled under my nose for so long vanished in a puff of smoke on the night of 15th February 2010. The company did send me a DVD screener as an apology but I spit on standard def… spit! I have ordered Triangle on Blu-ray though and I notice it comes in a shiny lenticular sleeve! I will be reviewing that in an extra one-off blog post at the beginning of March. It’s a great little thinking film, so go out and buy it. That’s what I’ll be telling you to do anyway!

So with a deadline looming it was up to me to select a film to accompany Pontypool in what was supposed to be a FrightFest special. Luckily, or should that be unluckily, I’d decided to buy martial arts flick Ong Bak: The Beginning, it had just arrived and it was ready to go. I had already watched Pontypool and was ready for something at the other end of the spectrum…

Here we go folks… keep your legs and arms inside the carriage at all times, this is for your own safety.

Pontypool

I actually missed this one at FrightFest back in August as it was on the Discovery Screen. I’m a main screen kinda guy, no filthy whore film will tempt me away from the main event, although the Discovery Screen was VERY tempting at times. Well, all I can say is wow! It’s a horror film but it drags you in by the balls. Not with shock tactics but with a well written script and a small yet very competent cast.

Pontypool is your basic Assault On Precinct 13 but without the guns and with urrrr… zombies. Can we call them zombies? Zombies in films are very rarely zombies, they’re more often infected. The dead haven’t risen from their graves after all. It’s the living, they’ve been infected and we never get a proper explanation as to why in the films of today.

Anyway, back to the plot. Pontypool tells the story of a small town radio station. Grant Mazzy (Stephen McHattie – Watchmen) is a big city shock-jock radio host who due to circumstances of his own making ended up getting fired from his old job. He ends up hosting an early morning broadcast in Pontypool from a radio booth in a church hall. It’s isolated and Mazzy’s only company comes in the form of two radio staff, a producer Laurel-Ann (Georgina Reilly) and a touch of technical support, Sydney (Lisa Houle).

The story carries itself for the first half of the film on the back of dialogue and cracking performances from all those involved. There’s no real action per se, it all happens bit by bit as people out on the street reporting for the show, doing the weather and other items, witness a riot at a doctor’s surgery. This leads to reports of people attacking each other, speaking in tongues and other strange acts which then leads to a city-wide quarantine by the military forces.

To be honest, this felt more like a character drama than a horror which was refreshing as it carried itself along so well. I was actually surprised at how well the characters’ individuality shone through with every line. Pontypool is a breath of fresh air and there’s no sign of any zombies/infected until an hour or so into the film. The suspense is built up in the form of three people in a makeshift local radio station. The tension that builds comes from the snippets of information as panic and rumour is aired over the radio waves. The main characters’ interpretations of these events and their paranoia all add to the heightened sense of fear that something big is coming.

When the infected get to the radio station, well, there’s a spattering of blood but not enough to gross the viewer out. It’s an entertaining piece as Mazzy pulls together the symptoms and attempts to figure out the cure. Also, look out for the little girl who goes crazy in the radio booth, she’s a doppelganger for Michael Cera. It’s FREAKY!

It’s a thoroughly entertaining watch. However, I wish I hadn’t enjoyed it enough to listen to the film’s commentary track… Time to read on…

Special Features:

• Director’s Commentary: Now there were three folks included in this. Thinking the details would be in the blurb on the back of the disc, I thought I’d check while writing this at work however I don’t know the names because the information ISN’T THERE! (It’s actually director Bruce McDonald and writer Tony Burgess – Ed) That however isn’t important because all three seemed more interested in talking about Pontypool 2 & 3 throughout the entire thing. There is no real discussion on the movie that is playing in the background; it seems this clever piece of film making was just a springboard to get funding to create a nastier follow up. Which is a shame because as they all spoke about the sequels, I felt dirty for falling in love with Pontypool. Their hearts may have been in the right place during the making of Pontypool but when it came down to it, this commentary track seemed to be all about self promotion and a funding search for the next two films. There was however one small piece of information which cleared up some confusion. A scene where it looks like Mazzy has succumbed to the virus; it really seemed like the guy had gone crazy but because they’d cut the hallucination he was having it just didn’t add up and confused me. They explained my confusion away though, before returning to more talk of Pontypool 2.
• Short Film – Eve: Call me uncultured but I just don’t understand these artsy-fartsy shorts. Eve tells the story of Eve from Adam & Eve in about ten minutes. It’s a silent film in which a woman convulses for three minutes, dresses up as Madonna, plays with a snake and throws things at a man. My finger was on Fast Forward throughout…
• Short Film – Dada Dum: I do not have a clue what this trip fest was about. A woman rolls up and down walls for fun. It looked like she was having fun. I think she had issues with expressing her glee though as she never smiled.
• Photo Gallery: A few shots from the film and some behind the scenes shots to show how the film came together.
• Blu-ray Exclusive – Pontypool Original Radio Play: It’s not really that original. The Radio Play features the track lifted from the film, cutting out any of the acting bits in between. More production stills play while the track is running. The only trouble is, they’ve kept in the banter between Mazzy and Laurel-Ann as she tries to keep Mazzy on track with regular updates of school closures etc. during the snow storm… which I didn’t actually mention in the review. Oops!
• Trailers: As it says, the theatrical trailers are on the disc.

Tech Specs:

Release Date: 25th January 2010
Runtime: 97 mins
Audio: DTS HD 5.1
Transfer: VC-1 1080p
Region: A, B & C

Ratings:

Movie: 4.5 stars – It’s a loveable piece which I thought proved a lot of love and affection had gone in to it. Then I heard the commentary track and that illusion was shattered but I can’t mark it down because of a few comments by some eager film makers. That would be wrong. Wouldn’t it? I’d recommend this to anyone. It’s a well written, well acted piece and puts some of the bigger Hollywood names to shame.

Picture: 3.5 stars – When the film started, I noticed a lot of grain and artefacts during the scenes in the car but when we ended up in the radio station with Mazzy the picture cleared up but the colours looked washed out. However being a pleb who writes about stuff who happens to be colour blind, don’t take my word for it!

Sound: 4 stars – Although there was never any real use for the surround system as for the most part the film was presenting a radio show through the main soundstage. When the zombies/infected began banging on the windows and mimicking the voices of those inside, it lead to a very claustrophobic moment where Mazzy and Laurel-Ann felt trapped and I was right there with them.

Extras: 2 stars – Oh my, those short films were a waste of disc space. The Radio Play is made redundant by the fact that it’s not presented as a radio piece since Laurel-Ann is heard wittering on in the background at some points. The Director’s Commentary is shameless self promotion of the sequel(s) which is now in production. The Gallery adds no real meat to the bones of the special features but it does contain some nice shots. All in all? The special features although trying to offer the film the best presentation only served to hurt the film for me. It’s a stand alone piece and it’s a well made piece that would have done better with a bare bones release. Less is more in some cases.

Ong Bak: The Beginning

With the non-materialisation of Triangle I thought to myself, this is new, let’s give this film a go. I hadn’t seen Ong Bak but had heard some great things about it. Was it wrong to expect a sequel – sorry, prequel – to offer the same level of entertainment others were harping on about? I didn’t think it was too much to ask but this film had other ideas!

I’m going to start by typing out the blurb on the back of the case:

MARTIAL ARTS LEGEND TONY JAA IS BAK!

This jaw-dropping new film features some of the most breathtaking fight sequences ever seen. Battling his own demons, Tien (Tony Jaa), must first fight to avenge the slaughter of his beloved family. Trained by vicious outlaws, he evolves into a dangerous and feared warrior, his lethal skills perfected to the point where he is able to exact a terrible revenge on the men responsible for the murder of those closest to him. Following the ground breaking global success of Ong Bak and Warrior King, Tony Jaa once again brings his sensational skills to bear in one of the most eagerly anticipated martial arts films of recent years.

Shame the remarkable and supposedly amazing Tony Jaa couldn’t deliver any of the above at even the basest level. If only he didn’t look like a goddamn ugly ladyboy in this picture. Yes I know he could severely do me some harm but the man just looks too feminine for his own good. There was even a point where I thought they’d cast one of the Jackson family in the role… possibly LaToya.

The story is your usual tale of people killing each other for power. A family gets slaughtered. A boy gets orphaned and ends up in a position to seek vengeance upon those who took away his stability, his family.

The fight scenes should have been the heart and soul of this movie, an extension of the storytelling, but because they were so clean and polished they became a chore to watch. I like my martial arts flicks to make it look like the actors have been through the mill a hundred times over. I don’t want to see perfectly executed moves. This is not a Van Damme feature, the fights should be seamless to make the audience sit up and go “wow” but unfortunately the film didn’t deliver in the action department or the acting department. It’s a Thai film but even I could see the acting in this one was poor.

There was a moment where Tien as a child has to fight a crocodile. At first it looked like it was going to be a great action sequence but then it became a little funny, comedic. Remember those blow up crocs you can get from Blackpool for the sea or swimming pools? It looked like he was fighting one of those by the end of it. The fight with the Tiger Lady could have been a wonderful artsy-fartsy fight scene but instead looks like a parody of itself. It happened a lot during Ong Bak: The Beginning.

Also, if you’re going to use CGI blood then make sure that it can be applied in a way that doesn’t take the viewer out of the film. Let’s face it, the boredom did that and dodgy CGI only adds to the disappointment that is Ong Bak: The Beginning. It’s just a drawn out boring piece… I actually wrote in my notes “Bored Now”.

Special Features:

• Behind The Scenes: Usually with this sort of stuff you see the supporting cast and the stars beating the living daylights out of each other and then a man leaps onto the screen and breaks a limb. Not with this limp look behind the scenes which is just as boring as the film itself. Tony Jaa scrapes his knee, directs some fight scenes and then another guy scrapes his knee. This continues for some time and seems like a redundant addition to the Special Features.
• Theatrical Trailer: I didn’t watch it, the memories of the actual film were too painful.
• Photo Gallery: Just as dull as the film.
• Press Interview Clips: It was the last feature on the disc… had I watched it, I may have slit my wrists.

Tech Specs:

Release Date: 15th February 2010
Runtime: 94 mins
Audio: Thai 5.1, Thai 2.0
Language: Thai with English Subtitles
Transfer: 1080p
Region: A, B, C

Ratings:

Movie: 1 star – Had this been a review for my site I would have given up half way through. This film doesn’t deserve the time or energy that is required of me to write a proper review. It’s a forced attempt to ride on the back of Tony Jaa’s other successes and as a result it’s not very engaging. Even the reveal of the man who killed Tien’s father was a predictable mess. Save yourself the time and avoid this film at all costs. It’s dire.

Picture: 2.5 stars – A mixed bag, the darker scenes which are plentiful looked awful and some daytime scenery shots just didn’t pop with the lush colours of Thailand. There were some great looking shots where the colours didn’t grab my attention but you could tell you were watching a High Def Disc, but you shouldn’t have to be reminded of that because other scenes are of such a poor quality. For shame, try harder Sony.

Sound: 3 stars – I can’t really be objective on this one as my surround was low due to the time I was watching the film. It sounded average at best. As I said above this whole product seems like a forced and rushed attempt with mediocre values all round.

Extras: 1 star – A poor show from start to finish. I wonder why there’s no Director’s Commentary on this one? Hmmm… does Mr Jaa know that he’s made a very bad film?

Clifford Green (www.thedogatemywookie.com)